Do you ever wonder how we can, or why do we, experience so many emotions in such a short time frame? I had a fantastic week and saw God working in my life in so many ways. One example: A couple of weeks ago I was asked by a friend of mine that owns a bar, if I was interested in working for her a night or two on the weekend. I've worked for her in the past when she knew she was going to have a busy night and would need the extra help. Initially I thought it would be great. I would love the extra money. I'm still a child in so many ways when it comes to being a Christian, so I reached out to a Christian friend of mine for advice. I sent her a message to get her opinion, but before getting back with me I came up with my answer. Sometimes we just need quiet time with God to find our answers. Extra money or not, I knew I had to turn the job offer down. After talking with God about it, my answer became very clear. Sometimes we have, ...aha moments...well this was one of those, ...duh...moments. It's pretty simple really, I have come to far and changed to much, to do anything to jeopardize that or tempt me in ways that I can avoid. Whatever do you mean Stephanie? :) Well...when I made a commitment to follow Jesus, I knew there were things that I would have to give up. I wasn't able to give them all up at once, somethings I am still, and will possibly always have to work on I'm sure. If I were to work in a bar every weekend I would be tempted to smoke again, I would be tempted to sit around after work and have a drink or two or several with friends and maybe even more then that, there may be a cutie patootie that becomes interested in me and I become interested in him and before I know it I'm falling for a man that's not a Christian. Nope, not going to happen. I know my limits. I also cared about how it would look to others, including my kids and also non-Christians, by me working in a bar. Turning down the job was the right decision. I knew God would provide. Now you may be wondering where this is all going. Well, all this happened on a Monday. The very next day I get another call for a job interview. I really hadn't even thought about a job with this company since I first applied with them OVER 8 months ago. Huh, is God trying to tell me something here? Long story short, I went in for an interview, they loved me (of course, hehe) and offered me the job, which by the way, ended up being more then I had hoped for. Some of you may have heard me say this already, but this job is amazingly perfect for me!! So turning down one job and almost immediately being offered another, is just one way of how God has been working in my life lately.
So that was the upside of my emotional roller-coaster. The downside, or self-pity side, happened as recently as today. I love my church and really look forward to going each week. Heck, by Sunday evening I'm already anxiously waiting for next Sunday to arrive. Not going doesn't even cross my mind anymore. In fact, not being there for 2 weeks in a row while I'm in India bums me out. I will definitely have to watch the podcast when I get home. Anyway, I don't mind at all walking in alone or even sitting alone anymore, but today for some reason, I notice all the couples, all the families. Am I the only one here by myself? No biggie, I pushed the thought aside and enjoyed a great worship service, as it always is at Pine Hills. I'm still in the Connections class at church during the 11am service. We're working on our testimonies, which has been harder for me then I thought it would be. As much as I love this class and really enjoy the people in the class, I still have trust issues and I'm not real sure how much I'm ready to divulge. That's a story for another day. As I'm listening to some of the testimonies I realize once again, how much I've missed out on by being a slacker and not making God center of my life before now. Then I look at the love and support that I see in the couples there and admittingly I become a little envious. Had I made this commitment 20 years ago or so, I wouldn't have had all the failed relationships that I've had. At times, guilt of how I lived my past still creep in and haunt me. Today was one of those days. I have to continue to remind myself that because of God's grace, I AM worthy and because of His mercy I AM forgiven. Did I get that right? I often confuse the two, lol. :)
So with all that being said, I will continue to do my best to not live in the past, to not let the guilt of my past regrets get me down. I'm living now, I'm living for God and I can't begin to express how excited I am about that. I'm happy, I'm content and I'm at peace!! All I can do now is share my joy, my passion for God and my love of being a follower of Christ. By the way...I continue to share and choose to share the things that I do share on this blog because maybe, just maybe, someone that reads this has or is experiencing the same thing.
Wowzers!! 2 weeks from today I'll be on my way to India!! Speaking of, here is a link to the girls orphanage that we will be going to. http://www.homeofloveindia.com/
Till next time...Be great...Be YOUtiful...Have a fantastic week!!
Hebrews 4:16, Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.
Psalm 23:6, Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
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