I choose to love

Look!  Wait, don't look.  I can't help it I have to look, but I don't want them to see me looking.  I'll keep my sunglasses on and just move my eyes, not my head. That way they won't know I'm looking.  Sound familiar or am I the only one? We've all seen them. Homeless, street dwellers, pan-handlers, beggars, whatever you choose to call them.  I don't like putting a "name" on them, but my point is, whether it's a pan-handler at the intersection of a major shopping center, a man sleeping on a park bench or someone whose clothes and shoes may look a little worn, we tend to look the other way.

I'm not looking the other way anymore. Every Monday night I go looking for them. There are usually 3-5 of us that fill a backpack full of food, socks, hygiene products, etc. and walk the streets of downtown Ft. Wayne.  

Instead of avoiding eye contact I now look them straight in the eyes and I listen.  I listen to their stories. I listen to their needs. I hear what they have to say and I care. I really care! I talk with them, smile with them, laugh with them and if they want I pray with them and I hug them. Some of them call us the "church people," but they know we're not there to Bible thump them. We're not there to judge them, look down on them, try to change them, save them or preach to them.  We're there because we want them to know we care. We're there because we want to be there! We're there because we choose not to look the other way.  We're there to let them know they're not forgotten.  We're there because they are human just like we are and get this...we were ALL made in God's image! Yep, that means you, me, the street dwellers, the neighbor next door that you don't like...errr, ummm, hmmm, maybe that last part is just me. 

My first night out we were at the park where several of them were being served dinner by another ministry and a storm came in. Quick! We knew it was coming, but thought we would be done by the time it hit.  No such luck!  The wind kicked up, it started thundering and lightening. Unfortunately we had to cut it short that night. We made it back to our cars right before it started pouring down rain. Can you guess what I did on the way home?  I cried ! Haha, imagine that.  None of them walked out of the park as quick as we did.  Why would they? Most of them have nowhere to go.  Sure they can seek shelter under a bridge or a tree or in a doorway, but they can't get away from the wind, the noise, the temperature changes and quite possibly they are still going to get wet. Even if they don't get wet, their bedding that they have hidden somewhere more than likely will be soaked.  I had a car to run to and a house to drive home too. I'm blessed. I'm fortunate. 

Several times when I go out, other than the usual snacks and canned meat, I put together 3 or 4 goodie bags. It's just a bag of snacks, a water and a flavor pack. The night of the storm I had one left before we scurried out of there. I saw one guy that I knew was living on the streets so I walked over to give it to him.  Even though the storm was coming he was still sitting in the grass, eating his dinner, quite content.  I said his name and handed him the bag.  He raised his eyes and just looked at me.  He looked at me like he couldn't figure out why I was giving that to him. He looked confused, but grateful. That look he gave me, that look in his eyes, made my night! 

I won't look away. I'll know their name. They'll know my face. I'll ask what they need that I can bring the following week. I won't judge. I won't ignore. I'll build trust. I'll choose to love because He first loved me. I choose to love and I choose to love out LOUD!! 

Have a great week...Be YOUtiful and you guessed it...Love out LOUD!! :) 

John 13:34-35 (NLT)

So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”

Waiting for my Bill

If you could thank one person in your life time for making a difference in your life, who would you thank?  When I was in college I had to write a short essay on this question. My answer is still the same today as it was then.

I'm sure most of you have heard the term, "Waiting for my Boaz." It speaks of Ruth from the Bible. Short version...Ruth was a young widow who was raised to worship a god called Chemosh. She walked away from her home town, her people, her past and her god.  She moved to Bethlehem with her mother-in-law who was also a widow, Ruth became what we call today, a Christ follower.  Yay!! In Bethlehem she met Boaz. A hunky (my version remember) older man, a man of God. Ruth had baggage and a past that most Christian men back then would run from. She had no kids, but she had an ex mother-in-law in the picture, that's worse than kids! Even so, Boaz married Ruth. Woo-hoo!  Ruth is a short book of the Bible and one I absolutely love.  Check it sometime.

Are you wondering where this is going?

It's time for you to meet the one person that has made a difference in my life. His name is Bill. He is my step-father of almost 40 years. My mom and dad divorced when I was 3.  I am the youngest of 3 girls, the other two are 6 and 7 years older than I. So here my mom is in the early 70's, single with 3 young girls. My mom and Bill were set up by their mothers. My thoughts about that are, his mother was hoping my mom would settle down Bill's wild ways.  Boy did she!!  Oh wait, I think I should say, "Boy did WE!"  My mom was quite the catch so needless to say they feel in love! Wild Bill soon became Sweet William (song reference, Google it).

I treated him badly growing up! I resented that he wasn't my real dad.

It wasn't until I moved out at the age of 18 that I realized how much Bill meant to me.  No matter what I did to him or said to him he never gave up on me.  He always loved me. When I finally grew up I realized how much he did to show that love for me.  I was in many activities growing up and Bill was always there to support me and cheer me on.  If I had somewhere that I wanted to go Bill would take me without hesitation.  I never heard him complain to my mom or anyone else about the way that I treated him.  He was and still is a wonderful father.  I don’t ever remember him introducing me as his step-daughter.  Growing up I may not have liked to be called his daughter, but I now realize how much that meant to me.  He never saw me as anything other than his daughter.  I believe in his eyes I was his daughter not his step-daughter.  

I recently met a man that has known Bill for many, many years.  He told me Bill is one of the biggest transformations he has ever seen. 

Bill is a true man of God. A gift from God specifically created for my mom and her 3 daughters! I can't imagine my life without him. I thank God for him everyday! He may not have been the dad that fathered me, but he is and always will be my dad. 

So there's my story of Boaz in our century. They DO still exist!  :) 

It's not always easy being single and at times I want to take it in my own hands and find a man on my own, but I'll wait on God's timing.  I have faith that God is not only preparing me for my Bill, but He is also preparing my Bill for me.  

If you're single and ready to ditch that status of "single" I pray that you have patience, that you keep your faith strong, continue to build your relationship with God and find peace in knowing that everything will work out in His timing. Maybe you're getting frustrated in thinking that you're ready and you can't wait much longer, but if it makes you feel any better maybe this time it really is "him" and not you.  ;)  

Have a great week...Be YOUiful...Love out LOUD! 

Biblically, waiting is not just something we have to do until we get what we want. Waiting is part of the process of becoming what God wants us to be. 
John Ortberg

“A truly God-seeking man longs for a woman with a Christ-consumed heart.” — Lauren DeMoss

What's my purpose?

This past week we celebrated 4th of July, also known as, Independence Day. Just another one of those holidays that gets lost in all the hoopla of celebration instead of actually "celebrating" what it's really all about.  We hear fireworks for days (and nights) on end, for weeks before and after the 4th. We're excited for a day off work or an extra long weekend if we're really lucky. We spend our time cooking out (then pigging out), with family and friends at the lake, by the pool, drinking adult beverages, sitting in a crowd with strangers getting mauled by mosquitoes so we can, " oooooh" and "ahhhhh," at the loud booms and the pretty lights in the sky.

This was the first Independence Day that I took the time to thank God for being born in the USA, the Land of the Free! God didn't just pick our parents that we would be born to, He picked our country that we were born in. Wherever we were born, there's a reason. Seriously, can you imagine me a 5'9" Chinese girl?

We were also all born for a purpose. Sometimes I struggle with knowing what my purpose is. Okay, that's not true, I struggle a LOT with knowing my purpose, but not near as much as I use too.  I have a restlessness inside of me that I can't quite explain.  My soul is at peace with God and my faith (finally), maybe it's my heart that's restless? Or my spirit?  I can't explain it.  I rarely feel like I fit in anywhere (I'm okay with that) and I'm not one to pound a piece of a puzzle in a spot that don't fit either.

God put an ache in my heart for those less fortunate. My last blog talked about how my heart yearns to do God's work in other countries, but now I want to tell you what I've been doing right here in my home town. One night a week for the past month I have been going out with, "Saints on the Streets (S.O.S)."  It's a small group that hits the streets of downtown Ft. Wayne once a week to be God's hands and feet, caring and sharing with the homeless, with men going through rehab at the Salvation Army and some that are just down and out. We stuff our backpacks full of mostly food and hygiene products. This is out of our own pocket, but it's pretty amazing how God is able to fill our backpacks week after week.

We head out every Monday evening at 8:30 pm, walk, talk, share, serve, give, laugh, listen and pray till 10 or 11 pm. We could sure use your prayers during that time.  Pray for our safety, for us to come in contact with those that may have the most urgent need, that we have the words to speak and an ear to listen. We may take a different route each week, but generally we go to the Salvation Army, Freiman Square, Headwaters Park, under bridges and along the river bank.

I mentioned that we fill our own backpacks every week.  If you feel that God has placed it in your heart to help out financially we would sure be grateful, just $5.00 goes farther than you can imagine. I'd be glad to make arrangements to pick up any donations.  Some items that are often asked for and can be purchased at the dollar store are: body wash, razors, foot powder, shaving cream, body spray, tooth paste, bar soap, deodorant, batteries, socks, bottled water and snacks. Keep in mind that we mostly serve men. Other items: flashlights, tarps, tents, blankets, hand warmers, coats, watches, sleeping bags, hats and gloves AND bug spray.  Of course if you feel God pulling your heart strings to fill your back pack and walk with us that would be awesome as well.

Feel free to contact me if you would like to help or have any questions. Keep an eye out for future blogs that will be about our actual "walks" downtown.

"Like" us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/saintsonthestreets?fref=ts

Website: http://sosfortwayne.com/

Till next time...Have a great week...Be YOUtiful...Love out LOUD and be thankful for your FREEDOM!! :)

"There is a lot that happens around the world we cannot control. We cannot stop earthquakes, we cannot prevent droughts, and we cannot prevent all conflict, but when we know where the hungry, the homeless and the sick exist, then we can help."